Self-love is a basic human need and an integral part of creating a fulfilling existence, but it’s one of those things in life that are easier said than done. Many of us live our lives without taking a moment to truly be proud of how far we’ve come. Instead, we let the outside world dictate what we think about ourselves and judge ourselves for “not being good enough.”
But life doesn’t have to be lived that way, and because you’re reading this article right now, I know that you agree. It takes a lot of hard work to get to a point in your life where you can say that you wholeheartedly love yourself, but making a commitment to nurturing your relationship with yourself is life changing in the best possible way.
And if there’s one thing I’ve learned upon adopting Arabelle Yee’s teachings, it’s that each and every one of us have the power and responsibility to embrace and appreciate who we are: mind, body, and soul. Arabelle is an entrepreneur, certified psychotherapist, and transformational life strategist, who specializes in helping people do just that. Having gone through her own journey of self love, she now assists others to step into the highest version of themselves and embody self love every single day. Here are five of her foundational tools for self love that have helped transform lives across the world:
1. Have An Attitude Of Gratitude
An attitude of gratitude means making the conscious choice to express appreciation on a regular basis for the things you experience in your life, and the key to that is to focus on what you have, and not on what you lack.
“There are so many benefits of being thankful,” she says. “These include being more happy, less stressed out, improving your relationships with those around you, and so much more.” she says.
2. Find Things To Celebrate Every Day
The next important foundational tool for self love, which goes hand in hand with gratitude, is to find things worth celebrating every single day. These can be little things in your life that you are grateful for, such as having a roof over your head, or the surprise call you received from a friend earlier today.
An effective way to help you start celebrating your wins is to make a list of what you’re thankful for every night before bed. Arabelle shares that she’s been doing that for the past 12 months, and it’s really helped her to change her outlook on life.
3. Heal The Parts Of You That No Longer Serve You
“To heal is to have empathy towards yourself,” she says. “We talk a lot about trauma, especially trauma given by other people. But I see that we can also give ourselves trauma, and we do that by not letting go and we do that by not healing,” she continues.
In order to truly heal, you must first ask yourself, ‘who am I letting run my life?’ Is it your parents, and the environment you were raised in? Social media? Or is it the negative things you affirm to yourself on a daily basis? Once you’re clear on that, you can begin to do the work to unlearn the practices and thought patterns that have held you back from reaching your highest potential.
4. Practice Setting Boundaries
“Setting boundaries is one of those areas where there is always room for improvement,” Arabelle explains, saying that at a certain point in her life, she thought she was good at setting boundaries but quickly realized she still had work to do.
“Sometimes we push ourselves to do things that we don’t want to do just because we don’t want the other person to feel bad, but setting boundaries is about prioritizing our own needs. It can be anything from not answering a phone call, or saying no to dinner plans, but the important part is remembering that no explanation is required. If you want to explain, you can, but you don’t need to, and the other person’s interpretations of your boundaries aren’t your responsibility,” she says.
5. Create Healthy Habits And Stick With Them
“We often talk a lot about affirmations, or gratitude, but what I see missing specifically in the spiritual community is taking action and creating habits. So if you say you’re going to do a gratitude practice, or celebrate all the little milestones in your life and set boundaries, it’s important to actually follow through and make that commitment.
“If you say that you’re going to do it, create habits that allow it to be possible,” she says. And of course habits can look different for everyone. For someone who is on the path of healing, they may start by meditating every morning for 5 minutes, and someone else might go on a retreat. But by creating those habits, Arabelle says that you are literally conditioning your brain to acknowledge that you are a different person than you used to be.
Before you know it, you will realize that you are actually no longer saying yes to the things that you want to say no to and you are actually practicing gratitude and creating healthy habits without putting much thought to it. And all of these things equate to practicing self love. Just like magic, your life will begin to unfold in a completely different way. When it comes to self love, Arabelle believes that it’s all about creating a new identity and embodying the practices that will make that identity possible.
If you found value in the tools you learned here and you would like to delve even deeper, be sure to connect with Arabelle Yee on Instagram for her upcoming Love Yourself Challenge she’ll be running as an early Valentine’s Day gift.
You are officially one step closer to having the relationship with yourself that you truly deserve, so congratulations! I can’t wait for you to experience self love even more.